Neighbours, eternally.

This blog is hosted through WordPress which has daily suggestions for topics or themes to cover, usually it’s a question posed which is meant to get you thinking and writing. I rarely take note and think I have maybe only ever covered one previously, but the topic yesterday caught my eye. What makes a good neighbour? As someone who recently had new neighbours move in who I really like, I am thankful for them and this made me smile but I do always try to relate these suggested topics to my general theme of this whole blog.

So, of course, it got me thinking about this slightly differently. What would make a good neighbour, or rather who would I like as my neighbours in death?

Would it bother you who you were buried next to, or who shared your spot where your ashes are scattered? What if that person had simply been someone unfavourable to you in life, or maybe even had committed some awful crime that everyone knew about? What if you laid eternally next to a well known and loved celebrity who’s gravesite became a pilgrimage for fans? What if this then impacted your loved ones visiting your grave, even perhaps avoiding doing so? Or even, maybe as a fan yourself you would want to be buried next to someone famous?

Then again, does it even matter at all? I think it very much depends on what your priorities are – and if you have even ever considered the priorities or what does actually matter to you. I do wonder how many people would have a preference in this, especially since there is a preference for many to be buried with family members or, at least, partners. If there was a space on a gravestone somewhere waiting for your name to be added would you feel comfort, fear, or even dread?

A horrid thought but in discussion of this I began to reflect on the relief of having neighbours in death if the alternative to this was to have none at all. If my body was never located by anyone and lost somewhere, although I would be dead I feel very sad about this. When I think deeper, even if this did not bother me, I know it would be upsetting for relatives and friends which in turn is not a pleasant thought for me either.

Like everything with death, we feel often like we have very little say or choice about what happens to us. While this is true, as humans we like to have a sense of control over all aspects of life including death. Pre-paid funeral plans are not just a handy concept which ensures less to be organised by your family when you die, but they also mean you have had input and a say in what happens. You have at the very least chosen either burial or cremation, and the company who will be seeing that process through.

Unintentionally this has led me to think upon the latest update from the Fuller Inquiry which was released this week. The second phase interim report has just been released and can be found here, this phase has looked into the funeral sector in England and calls for there to be independent regulation for a “sector [which] is an unregulated free for all“. Interestingly, it is noted that this is largely unknown by the public who would be shocked to know what happens and what abuse has been allowed to take place. Did you know there has been no regulation of funeral homes? Did you know that anyone can call themselves a funeral director and begin a business without any qualifications or inspections from anyone?

While sometimes I ponder over thought provoking points like neighbours in death, there are real considerations that should be pondered by everyone about what protection and rights we have when we are dead. Often we say things don’t matter because we will be dead, but I would argue this is simply not true. Not today, but another time I will elaborate further.

I will leave this here but let me know your thoughts on anything I have raised or discussed here,

MG x