The Certain Uncertainty of Death

Something I’ve noticed recently is how quickly time is moving for me. It feels like I blink and a month has gone, the days go fast and the seasons change quicker than I realise. I’m barely used to winter and it already feels like spring is on its way. Thinking about this made me realise some things I’d like to share. Some random thoughts about why we fear death so much and how we can recognise this in ourselves and other people.

One aspect of the modern world I find amazing is how long we all expect to live. People who die at 70 are considered to die young, whereas a several decades ago that would have been an achievement. Medicine progresses to cure more and more, so it feels like we’d only be happy to die of old age at 110 in our sleep. Sadly, very few of us will actually experience that and the truth of the matter is that we could die at any age. It’s the uncertain certainty, death will happen but rarely can we be sure of how and when until time is running out.

In this sense, the modern world prepares us to die at a ripe old age. We are advised to invest in pensions pots and plan for our retirements even though the pension age gets higher and higher. The world expects to live for a longer and longer time each year. This can only add to the sense of being robbed of this liberty when somebody dies young. I’ve noticed a large number of people dying in their 40s for example, for a range of reasons or illnesses. This is only about ten years older than I am now but the prospect of only having ten years remaining seems grossly unfair. Yet it could happen.

Once the fear of this creeps in, it’s hard to shift that thought and appreciate life in the way we think we should. The contradiction of living each day like it’s your last but saving money because you’ll grow old is around us everywhere. You can see in the same magazine two different articles about why we need to eat a healthier diet and then later on why we should just eat the damn cupcake. In a practical sense, we somehow have to accept that life is finite and varied in length, but in reality this is not a thought that comes easy. I remember learning once something like that a thousand years ago living past 35 could be deemed old age. These things change and develop through time and I wonder if their thoughts would have been any different or the same just on a much shorter timescale. Religion has had and does have a lot to say on accepting your time and the will of higher beings, but I think in a modern world where people rely less and less on religion we will of course question these things instead.

I do hope that this is thought provoking and not depressing as it could be interpreted. What I am trying to emphasise is that fearing something unknown will ultimately not lead to any good. Learning to accept the unknown and know it exists is key, and by understanding that you can see through the fear to some extent. I’m not saying that I am not afraid of death, or that I am not sad when those around me die. It doesn’t make grief or bereavement necessarily any easier, but it does make living with the inevitability of death a lot easier.

MG x

I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead

If you speak to me, or see me recently you have probably heard me say I’m tired, or thought I look rough. Truth is, I feel it! Between mystery pain and insomnia, my brain is in overdrive and it’s a really busy time of year in the death industry. I’m really proud of my team and of being a part of it this week. We’ve pulled together through some tough situations, just got on with it when we’ve been pushed to our limits and all our strength is gone. When I say strength, although you might think mental I actually mean both mental and physical. There’s been moments when my arms just don’t want to do what I need them to.

What a lot of people don’t realise is, mortuary work is very physical especially when it’s busy. You might find yourself cleaning, moving patients around or just running about trying to keep on top of phones ringing, doorbells going off and people being released to funeral directors. When I quite Archaeology I didn’t think a physical job would be part of my life again, because it felt like most jobs now are office based. Sometimes I now get time to sit at a desk and those times I relish, whereas previously the prospect of a desk job really did not appeal to me whatsoever.

In the hospital world, there is what is known as ‘Winter Pressures’. The wards feel it with meetings about beds and spaces, the emergency areas feel it with huge increases in footfall through their doors and the mortuaries feel it with constant new patients and community members arriving. It’s slightly different every year, in that the issues caused by this are different but largely space related. The other difference is that the time of year when it is at it’s worst is never predictable. It can coincide with dips in weather and temperature but it can also appear to be utterly random.

A lot goes on, some I’m aware of and some I’m sure I’m not, behind the scenes to ensure we are best prepared for these times and can cope in one way or another. It may mean just using our extra storage. It might mean transferring people to our surplus storage in an external company. The worst I’ve seen in my time at the mortuary is a concern that places are getting very full, and that even extra storage is not enough. However, there are plans, upon plans, upon plans to ensure that there is always a way to cope. This doesn’t make it any less stressful for those involved but it should calm any concerns from the public who might believe there is a problem.

February Death Cafe is coming up soon!

I do wonder if I’ll ever get used to this time of year, and not find it completely tiring. The lack of sunlight doesn’t help me and drains energy. I’m hoping for sunnier, calmer days ahead. Looking ahead, it’s not long now before I head up North to start my training officially! However, before then we have our February Death Cafe coming up on the 19th at our usual lovely venue at the usual time. Hope you can make it!

MG x

Back at the Old Operating Theatre

On Thursday night I had the pleasure of returning to one of my favourite places in London for a fabulous evening of wine and Victorian surgery. Rachel had asked me if, instead of exchanging Christmas presents last year, we bought tickets to an event she had found online through a friend. It was a great idea and I jumped at the chance to introduce her to a place I love.

The Herb Garrett is in the attic space around the Operating Theatre and is a lovely collection of objects and fascinating things.m

That’s how I ended up back at the Old Operating Theatre at the Herb Garrett site on St. Thomas’ Street. Another friend came with us who, due to an unfortunate injury, was able to try out the newly installed lift at the museum. Previously, the museum has only been accessible via a very small and unnervingly narrow spiral staircase that scares me somewhat. It’s handy to know, and I’m pleased to broadcast that in future, if you need disabled access to this museum it is available upon request with a valid reason.

The Operating Theatre with original operating table on the left and reproduction on the right

Another thing I’m pleased to say is that the museum have invested in some further cushions for the wooden steps! Previous visits had made me recommend to friends to take at least a rolled up jumper to sit on because after and hour sat on the wooden floor made for a very numb bum and achey hip joints. However, handy seat pads are now provided which is excellent!

Rachel did not appreciate the smell of the soap bars being passed around

I won’t spoil the content of the Victorian Surgery Demonstration talk for those who will be attending in future, it’s often on during normal museum opening hours and also some are available after hours. It is a fabulous talk and the speaker is very knowledgeable in the subject matter. Objects are passed around and you can really get a feel for what surgery would have been like in the past, particularly pre the introduction of anaesthetic.

In depth demonstrations upon a willing volunteer

Sadly I tore myself away at the end, partly because I needed to empty my bladder so badly but also because I always feel a huge spend up coming on when in their wonderful gift shop. I cannot recommend a visit to this delightful museum enough and think it is one of the best hidden sites in London. One thing I had been curious about was how this theatre had survived, the lady told me that the whole area had been boarded up and not accessed for a long time and almost been forgotten about. It makes me wonder how many roof spaces of old buildings are hiding little treasures like this!

MG x

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑