You know that feeling when you have a cold and your nose is so blocked it’s just horrible and you miss breathing normally. You think of all the times that you were able to breathe through your nose and how simply wonderful they were. How much you took that easy breathing for granted so much.
Now imagine that thought, but regarding the feeling of being clean. Imagine the feeling of being so gross that you miss the days when you’re fresh, when you smell nice and you’re not covered in urine and feaces. You might think I’m being dramatic, and I often am. Yet, still an interesting feeling to have when you’re on the bus on the way home and longing for a shower. No matter the gown, apron, gloves, arm covers, boots, goggles you wear, you cannot prevent the smell hanging around.
There’s no simpler way of saying it but this week a bladder exploded on me. Yep, the bladder erupted in a flood of urine in my direction. I was struggling to get it out and my colleague came to help me, then splash! I could smell it all day, all day long. I’m amazed (and so, so pleased) it didn’t get me in the face to be honest. It’s not uncommon for cysts or fluids of all types to spurt unexpectedly and that’s all part of this job. Hope you weren’t eating while you read that if you have a sensitive stomach.
Another first this week, I’m standing there undressing the people for post-mortem for the day and I think to myself ‘I’ll try this one today’ without really considering much other than the fact they were in the middle and I seem to have adopted the middle table as my own when I’m in the room. While talking to my colleague I just glanced across at the person’s face and a sudden realisation came over me. ‘I know them!’ erupted out of my mouth before I thought of it and I gradually realised from where. Not a close friend, or someone really familiar but enough that I knew their name. Some might find that weird, but by working in a mortuary in your local area I’m afraid it’s bound to happen. If I think about the number of people I know around here, and who I’ve met in my thirty years, eventually someone I knew was going to arrive.
It was a weird feeling but I’d already come to terms with this happening and it wasn’t a bad weird feeling. My job helps people a lot, it stands to be part of the final care a person will receive in their existence and that’s a hugely important thing a lot of people can’t appreciate. I feel privileged to be able to do this, it might not be in your taste of a career but this is my passion. I faced two challenges this week that yet again I knew would come, and I’m proud that I’m still writing about them with a smile on my face and full of pride for having faced them. I haven’t even mentioned the faeces either! Though one colleague suggested I titled my blog ‘Poo & Peas’, I’ll let you imagine what that was all about.
The overall theme of this two day week was cleaning. Lots of cleaning. Cleaning the room, cleaning the tools, the tables, the people, myself at the end of the day. My advice to anyone who wants to do this role, make sure you’re not against spending a lot of your time with disinfectant and bleach. It’s a great job if you want to throughly enjoy taking a shower.
Thank for reading and as always throw your questions or comments my way!
MG x
Mortuary Gem 
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