No sarcasm intended!
Before you think I’m being a rubbish wimp, please bear in mind I am on my feet for most of the day. I know, most people have desk jobs that don’t require this, but also I’m aware that some of you have jobs on your feet all day. So also bear in mind I am lifting people, quite often those a lot heavier than me and moving them about. This is the most physical job I’ve had since being an archaeologist and that was mostly digging holes for 7 hours a day! Now my days are split between lifting, moving and cleaning. As I said before, only apply for mortuary jobs if you are happy spending large amounts of your time cleaning.
The first five day week in quite some time for me started probably as it meant to go on. Busy as ever although I cheekily booked a couple of days off in May. Apologies for being quite quiet over the last several days, I prepped a post on Friday night but it never got posted and is now a bit redundant. For example, I’ve removed another brain since then taking the total count up to 16. At the end of last week I tried to think or count how many eviscerations I have now done (I think around 12) and how many people I’ve stitched up (utterly lost count of that one I’m afraid).
Brain number 16 was a relief today, I don’t know if I was having a bad day or if the person was particularly difficult but I struggled somewhat. I was pleased when the skull was open and the brain was out as it meant the process was complete and the reconstruction could commence. We begin the reconstruction often before the pathologist has looked over the organs unless they instruct otherwise. It may be that they want to examine something like the head or chest closer but generally they have all they need and we can begin. Me being new and therefore quite slow, I don’t keep up with my colleagues yet even remotely. However, in the time it took them to do two each on Friday I completed one evisceration so I figure I’m working about half the desired speed. Not bad for three months in to my training post!
One important thing I learnt today, don’t buy the same shampoo they use in the mortuary for yourself at home. Your sense of smell can be the most triggering when it comes to memory and that’s not what you need in that scenario. I’ll take my colleagues advice and spend a little more on products in future so I don’t make that mistake again (it’s fair to say that both myself and the mortuary have ‘owning items from the pound shop’ in common if you get my drift). We have shampoo, conditioner and shower gel that we use for cleaning the people during and after post mortem. We even have a hairdryer which I’ve now used a few times on those with longer hair. Very strange to start with when you stand there like a hairdresser at the end of the tray.
That’s all from me tonight, I can barely keep my eyes open right now. Tomorrow I’m heading into the city for a talk which should be fascinating, I will update you all on that towards the middle/end of the week. Thank you all so much for reading and getting in touch- keep your questions coming please!
MG x
Mortuary Gem 
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