The fourth Upminster Death Café, which is our fifth that we have hosted and was somehow, utterly unintentionally, an all-female attended event, which I think definitely influenced the mood of the evening. By this I mean that I feel it allowed the people there to open up a bit more about some of their personal experiences and be totally honest about some things they might not have wanted to in front of any male attendees. Of course I could be totally incorrect about this and we could well have had exactly the same experience with men in the room! I also would like to just say that it does not mean that men are unwelcome from now on and it was just a funny occurrence, everyone is welcome of course.
Not sponsored by Coca-Cola, unless they would like to…
I was really pleased that we hosted 15 people this time around (in that I include myself, Rachel and the lovely ladies of the Sweet Rose Cakery because we all get involved) and to have people bring with them some topics they wanted to discuss. We had a great range of conversation and went off on a few tangents as always, but the conversation did come back to death every time. We covered old age, how our parents or relatives reacted to bereavements, how to talk to people who are grieving, whether or not you have to have a funeral, and ‘death denial’ among many other things.
The atmosphere of the night was overall a very happy one and there was a lot of laughter with some sadder moments in between. For anyone curious, this is the general tone of the Death Café events that I have noticed, it’s very positive and often funny but people are safe to express other emotions and will be listened to. I think that by the fact people have opened up in this environment shows that people feel comfortable enough to do so. I will always totally understand if people are worried about what these events contain, but the only way I can help is by recommending you attend one if you are interested and find out.
The rest of the week has been quite eventful for me! At the weekend I attended the London Podcast festival and saw live my two favourite podcasts of them all- Griefcast by Cariad Lloyd and Wooden Overcoats written by David K. Barnes. I’ve banged on about them a lot on here before but if you’re interested give them a google or iTunes search.
Wooden Overcoats- a comedy about rival funeral directors on a fictional Channel Island
Griefcast- Cariad Lloyd interviews comedians about when they have experienced grief
This week I’ve been back and forth to our other hospital covering the afternoons, as well as there all day today to give some training sessions to staff members. As mentioned before, we give training to the nurses and other staff who do end of life care to ensure they are giving the patient the best start in death for when they come to the mortuary. As well as this we also train the portering staff on their work in the mortuary. We think it is important too that they get to know us friendly members of staff who they won’t be afraid to contact if they ever have a query or are unsure about something. This was my first time doing this training on my own and I think I did okay, although I introduced myself to be told ‘We know, we saw you on the Intranet!’. Apparently people know me, might explain some of the smiles and looks I get around the hospital, I thought I just looked weird!
A little while ago I saw on Twitter a company called Death Deck who were producing a new card game that caught my eye. Death Deck is a game to encourage people to have the difficult conversations about death with their loved ones, the cards having some questions which prompt these discussions. I was so excited I ordered as soon as it came out and it finally arrived yesterday, after some hefty customs charges. I’ve been speaking to them about it being available on the UK Amazon soon, but it’s available in the US now. Planning on busting it out at an event soon, really looking forward to playing it!
The Death Deck game
I’ll leave you today with Funny Things I’ve Heard on the Staff Bus- Part 1, my new mini feature. Well, let’s see if I hear anything else at any point for a Part 2! Three, I think junior doctors but I could be wrong, were sat behind me on the bus and were discussing healthy eating. One of them said that she had tried being vegetarian but would still eat fish, justifying this by saying ‘Well would you rather punch a fish or punch a cow?’. This is now a question I think I will be asking everyone I meet just to hear what they think. So, what would you rather punch, a salmon or an Aberdeen Angus?