I’m keeping this incredibly short in a week where it feels like I have zero spare time and every waking second is taken up by mild panic about whether or not I can remember all the names of the bones in my hand. There’s a trend currently known as the Decade Challenge where you take a photograph of yourself from 2009 and one from 2019.
2009/2019- I can’t see that I’ve changed visibly all that much!
2009 was a pretty awful year for me for many reasons that now have very much faded into the past and were mostly amplified by my immaturity and the state of the job market at the time. I was stuck trying to finish a Masters degree where I was convinced my tutor severely disliked me, and outside of my career my Nan was terminally ill with cancer. 2009 ended with what felt like my entire world falling to pieces, a Christmas without someone who had always been there and I was working full time in retail. I was in a place where I never thought I would end up. Especially after four years of university and being promised my hard work would pay off.
Well truth be told, it has. I like that all my photos from that year are a bit blurry, they emphasise the point that I wasn’t finished. I still had a long way to go and I still do. If you need to hear it, please take this very seriously, time is a great healer and experiences stick with you but they also create who you are. I am happy to say I have learnt to appreciate the bad things. It’s hard to accept that Nan has been dead for a decade but I try to think she’d be proud of how headstrong I’ve become. I just wish I could go back and tell myself ‘You’re not done yet’ because I think that is all I really needed to hear.