When I first started doing on call I was absolutely terrified about leaving my phone somewhere I couldn’t hear it. A billion different scenarios would run through my head, I could imagine all the different things that might happen and what I may have to do. I also assumed that whole time that it would get easier, and that one day I would just be totally used to being on call like it was pretty much any other day. Alas that day has not arrived yet and I’m still very much anxiety ridden from Monday to Sunday of the week I am assigned.
That’s where you find me now, coming to the close of a week on call and feeling the absolute strain of wondering when my phone will ring next and what it might be. Truth is, some weeks are hectic and others are not. There’s no rhyme or reason as to what a week will be like and nor is there any way of knowing. Part of me still believes that there will be a day when I don’t think or feel on edge the entire time but for now this is it. Although that may seem contrary to what I’ve just written, I do try to not be negative about it, it’s good to be trusted with the duty and an important part of my role for certain.
Luckily the quieter on call days mean I get quite productive around the house however, and that is very satisfying. I allow these times for housework and sorting stuff which to be fair I have managed quite a bit of this week. I even had a chance to go over the park and forage. I came home with two tubs of blackberries which I made a blackberry and vanilla coulis with and some sweet pea flowers. Oh and some conkers to ward off spiders as the autumn chill draws in. Old wives tale sure, but I’m willing to try anything to keep the eight legged guys outside.
Thinking about all of this, I’ve noticed that the pandemic world made me realise how much happier I am when I have time at home. The first weeks of lockdown I made sure I got my daily walk in over the park, wandering the pathways and tree routes less ventured to avoid anyone else. Now I make sure I get to go over there at least once a week so I can breathe in the air and take some time to myself. I feel revived in nature, and it has an effect on me I relish. Apart from the one time I went out in the thunder and rain, got stung on the head by a wasp and had the worst headache of my life for over a day. I am probably my happiest now when I have a day pottering about the house and take time for a walk.
Autumn is my favourite time of year too, spooky season aside, I love the shorter days, jumpers and coats galore. I love hot spiced drinks, blankets, my cosy nook at home with books and the cats. Wandering graveyards is best this time of year and usually I’d be out and about exploring different places. As per every year, next month is the London Month of the Dead and although a proportion of the talks are now online, some tours are still going ahead. I think the tours are largely sold out due to limiting numbers but check out the online talks which are a very affordable £4 a ticket. I will miss the spiced gin cocktail, but I think I’ll have a crack at making my own at home in the slow cooker. If you have any recipe ideas for this please let me know!
Looking ahead the weeks are still fairly quiet but a few exciting things are happening. This coming Tuesday is our September Zoom Death Cafe and if you are interested in attending please let me know so I can send you the meeting details. I have also confirmed October for Tuesday the 13th. As always, get in touch if you have any questions or would like to know anything.