My Heart’s Still Beating

It’s been a slow start to the year but I do feel fully back in the swing of things and much better with my mental state! Still having the odd blip but that can only be expected.

This week we’ve been really quite busy, which comes with the unfortunate task of often having to not be able to give families what they always want. By that I mean, I think a lot of families believe they can either show up at any time or see their relative whenever they want. While this is something that in a perfect world would be possible, with our staffing, workload and space limitations we are very limited on the times we can offer. Viewings can be very time consuming if we have to take a lot of time to prepare the person, depending on what condition they are in, and we cannot give the amount of time demanded from us towards them. Sadly I’ve had to speak to family members on the phone and tell them they cannot come and see their relative either right at that minute, or recommend that they wait until their family member has gone to the funeral directors.

It’s one of the hardest parts of my job in all honesty, you want to be able to give people what they want but you end up some days being overwhelmed by the demands and unable to not be annoyed at some expectations. I can only recommend for anyone who thinks they would visit their family member in hospital that you call as early as possible to ensure you have better chances of getting an appointment (a bit like the GP surgery!). However, something I always do recommend is that it is better in many people’s minds to visit loved ones at the funeral directors where a lot more can be done and a lot more time dedicated. I often feel like our viewings can be very clinical and not always the best for families even though we try our best with what we have. I’m sure this could be different in other hospitals but some may agree with me. I would be interested to find out!

I had the opportunity yesterday to go into the post-mortem room with the other trainee and work together which was fantastic. We really work well and help each other with the bits we both struggle with. I’m so glad that we can share the stuff we know and I hope we can get some other occasions where we can do this going forward. I’ve really noticed recently that my confidence has grown again and come back to where it was before. I feel like the weaker points I was struggling with are becoming easier too. Really bodes well for starting my official training in a month’s time!

Finally, today I had to go for an ultrasound scan on my abdomen due to some right upper quadrant pain I’d been having which was suspected gall bladder issues. I’m pleased to say my gallbladder is fine, but now just concerned about what the pain actually could be. One funny thing however, when the man performing the scan showed me the screen I think I said ‘WOW’ a little too loudly. He went on the describe my gallbladder and what it does, and then my kidney and I had to interrupt him to explain what I do and why it was so cool to see my own. He smiled and sat back and said ‘Well you see all that movement, that your blood pumping around and you don’t get that’ which really made me laugh. Good to know my heart is in fine working order too hopefully!

Tomorrow night I’m off to an event in the city which I’m excited about. Then I have a long weekend to recover. I’ll let you all know about the event and some upcoming stuff in my next post. Hope you’re all having a good week!

MG x

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