Around two weeks ago I had the most emotional day I have had in the 27 months of having my job. I cried at work, on and off all day. I fought tears on the bus home, until it terminated about five stops from mine and it was pouring with rain. I walked those last five stops just sobbing. I’m not ashamed to say my emotional day was because there was just an abundance of patients, relatives and cases at work that really got to me. I reasoned with the fact that on any other day one of those things would be bad enough but there were several all at the same time. Sure, my colleagues didn’t cry but there’s been days they have and I’ve been able to hold it together so it’s all just relative to what you feel at the time.
Santa came to visit us in the basement!
I’ve always said that patient viewings are one of the hardest parts of my work because of the emotional side. There’s not always the outward pouring of grief from relatives but sometimes it’s difficult to see or hear. Christmas is especially tough, my desire to provide everyone with a viewing who wants one cannot always be fulfilled with the logistics or timing now allowing for it.
Sneaking in festive moments wherever I can!
However, providing viewings for people can also be enormously rewarding when you do. I had the absolute privilege of helping two people who’s spouses had died right before Christmas in spending a little time with them. Even writing this I’m smiling at the thought of being able to help them and how much it must have meant to them. One was grateful but quite stoic during their visit, the other I chatted with for a while and was able to comfort them. They shared some stories with me and I will never forget that moment.
Friday’s bus journey was very peaceful, even coming home (although I did bump into Simon of Simon Says Study on there!)
I only speak for myself here, but the well-being side of my work is a hugely important aspect I try not to forget. Emotions are not bad, but they need to be balanced. Luckily I found my balance and resolved some peace in that. As the title says, it’s difficult but lovely and that’s the balance I need. Yes some days are hard and horrid, then comes along a day that makes it all worthwhile.
Lastly, I hope to get back to some anatomy/factual posts in the new year. If you have any topics you’d be interested in reading or hearing more about please let me know. I have some ideas myself too!