My mood is every changing at the moment, flipping between despairing over what is going to happen in the coming weeks and then sometimes I feel like I have a grip on the fact I have no control over this. Whatever will happen is going to happen no matter how much I fret about it. London enters Tier 2 on Tuesday, my feelings about this are very cautious. I am very aware that many are upset we are in the middle tier of strictness for various reasons and possibly think that this is not necessary. I also know a number of people who fear this is not strong enough, and we need to be doing more to curb the second Coronavirus wave which is happening now, or the possible third wave that could happen if we come out of measures too soon. Only time will tell how this plays out, and although I think it’s fair to say the mortuary staff are tired and run down, we are also ready for whatever the harshest part of Winter may throw at us.
Today I finished my very slow re-watching of Buffy the Vampire Slayer for the fourth time in my life. I wrote about my love of the television series before, but having reached the end I have a new appreciation of how all the characters face the end of the world in their own way. This is no spoiler, Buffy and the gang face more than a few apocalypses throughout the entire show and it was inevitable that it would end with another one! In the final series there are some episodes which are based on waiting for events to happen or how to pass time when things aren’t looking too great for the future. Watching the characters I’ve loved for so long experience this when I too and sat with a perpetual feeling of dread and fear was one of the most reaffirming moments I’ve had while watching television. That feels rather grand to say, and may seen rather hyperbolic but it’s true!
My week started with a mini flood in the house, some DIY by my husband that didn’t quite go to plan which left us sleeping in the spare room and I had one of the worst nights sleep I’ve had in a long time. I decided last week that to try and save some money we would start going food shopping once again rather than ordering online as we have been. I think we spent more than usual and I saw far too many people either wearing their masks under their nose or not at all. While I do feel like I have become a bit of a hermit and I now have a fear of going out to shops, I refuse to let this settle and be how I am from now on. I want to get one of those masks that has written on it ‘It goes over your nose’ and if anyone knows where I can buy one please comment below.
I have had last Friday booked off as annual leave for a few months, originally I planned to attend a Thanksgiving celebration with some dear friends in the city who I haven’t seen in a long time. Obviously the celebration plans were cancelled, but I kept my day off so I could have a bit of a break and also do all of my housework before my weekend on call. One of my biggest anxieties, as I have mentioned before, is that I will be so busy with work I won’t have time to clean or do washing. This was the week, however, that I started wearing my immense collection of Christmas jumpers in a bid to cheer myself up. If they don’t get washed a re-worn some people might be quite grateful.
One of my colleagues finished her apprenticeship this week, completing a long course of stressful assignments, assessments and exams. I’m really proud of her for everything she has achieved, completing this course during the pandemic and finishing in the midst of what is happening at the moment. Like with all my colleagues, the care and compassion she shows for the deceased is so lovely and shines through in her work. I feel so grateful to be able to work with a group of people who feel the same way that I do about the care not stopping when people die.
While I spend the rest of the weekend on call with the low level anxiety that brings, I will be attempting to make my way through watching Angel (which at the rate I watched Buffy should take me easily into Spring 2021) while also doing some embroidery which is my new hobby that I even surprised myself with. Hope you all have a great weekend.